Am just going to share a happy piece of news! – I am pregnant with our third child! Found out the gender few months ago but I think I’ll keep the details until the big day comes 🥰
I haven’t been pregnant since 8 years ago and I think and feel, that this has been the most challenging pregnancy among all 3. I thought, having been experienced and two older kids to help out with the housework, would ease this pregnancy journey. The truth is, it’s not like that. Physically, mentally and emotionally, I’m not as strong as I used to be. I wonder if I’ll have the energy to push when the day comes. Please pray and wish the best for me and my family.
I’m not confident with myself but I have faith in God. I know that this is a conflicting sentence. However, that’s what I truly feel.
Some days, I will have that adrenaline rush of energy and I’m able to do a lot. Some days, I just needed to sleep in a little longer and be selfish. What I meant by selfish is, to rest longer in bed while I procrastinate any housework and tasks. Hoping this would help me preserve my energy for the whole day. I need to preserve my energy, simply because, I’m not just mom. I’m also a daycare teacher. I have stretched myself too thin before that I needed to consult a psychiatrist for my mental health. So I learned to balance. To give and also take some rest days.
This blog post will not be about how to make money or saving tips and tricks. It’s going to be more about the mistake that I have done and getting over it.
Reflecting
All you have to do is call for home
Wondrous life
In the past year, when everyone else was busy being dreadful about the change, I was busy finding my purpose and how I could earn more money. Why? Simple, I have a family to feed. And I had dreams of staying home and yet still earning as much as I am earning in a full-time job.
It is still my dream today. I never truly let that go. The thought of me being available for my children 24/7 while I earn a 4-figure income with the bills paid on time, and me making a difference in other people’s lives while I have the abundance of time and money.
I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who desires this lifestyle. Maybe some people already have.
So I reached out to someone I met many years ago. She was broke and broken then. But now, as she portrays in her social media, she had become a millionaire.
But things went downhill quite quickly and yet I was blinded. Blinded by hope and wishful thinking.
I kept on paying for her advise (mostly criticism) for a good 8 months
And it wasn’t cheap
By far, this has been my most expensive mistake and I am just grateful it’s not more than what it already is
I found out that many others have fallen prey into her trap of chasing after dreams that she is not sure of how to help us get them!
It’s just words and words and theories of who knows if it’s true!!!!
Angered by this scammer
As much as she denied that she is a scammer who overcharged her services, I needed so much time to finally realised it!
Mentor
What does that even mean?
From my understanding, it is someone who helps an individual get to their goal in the best way possible.
A mentor is an experienced and trusted advisor.
However, up till today, I do not see where I am heading. It’s either I have more money to invest, then I’ll get more money. Or, I have to rewire my mentality and keep reaffirming things to come to me as soon as possible.
Okay, imagine this, I need to make a bill payment within the next 24 hours, and all that this “Mentor” told me was, affirm that within the next 24 hours you’ll receive money! Do this, do that! As when I did, but nothing happened, I’m left to be responsible to find means and ways to pay that bill anyway.
So now what?
At the end of the day, I still have to find my solution?
What is she here for anyway? To tell me how useless and helpless I am?
To criticize my lack and tell me my logical brain is useless and not helping me to achieve success?
Come on! Be real! Robert Kiyosaki didn’t get rich by reaffirming the whole day! They learned practical things and applied that knowledge into the real world!
Al this while, she have been telling me to block out and say fake news to all the unwanted things that’s happening in my life. And her example was, Donald Trump.
What happened to America when he said Fake News to Corona Virus?
I’m sorry but this Mentor told me this. Say Fake News to unwanted reality. And what did I get myself into? More debts than I ever had before I met her. Just like how “Fake News” had America having the highest number of death from tragical disease. It’s sad. Truly sad. I feel for them because I too had been told to believe that what’s happening in the real world now is just fake news and it’s not my desired reality.
It made me feel like I’m a lunatic and I’m making illusions about what is only good for me but ignore the reality that I don’t get to contribute food for my children. How more sad can that be?
Lesson learned so let’s move on
Now that I’ve learnt the truth, I want to move on with my life and be back on the ground. My heart is more at peace now. Knowing that I can control and I am in control. No more manipulative words from an uncertified Mentor. A fake millionaire.
I’m just going to live and be me. Faithful. Mom. Teacher. Wife. Admin to my husband’s business and a loving daughter to my parents.
I’ve learnt that I don’t need to be rich to give the best life for my loved ones. I just need to know my priorities and settle down on what I already have. Being grateful is the best thing ever.
And I thank God for sending me my heart signals and emotions. Telling me to let go of what I know I can let go but was afraid to.
It has been a few months since I last took a planned day off from my day job.
Work is a privilege. Rest is a gift.
Quote by Google Search
But my body decided to fall sick the night before my day off. Since it’s still a covid period, of course, I had to do what any responsible adult should do. Go to the clinic to get myself checked.
But I am super pumped. Not in a good way though. My heart was palpitating when I was registering for consultation.
Thoughts running through my head.
What-ifs came faster and harder like a train to Busan!
And so I calmed myself down. I used the Tapping technique. Also known as EFT. Short for Emotional Freedom Technique.
I’ll link more info in another blog post soon! Right now, I just want to talk about my day off.
The long-awaited day
Finally. The day I have been waiting for the whole of last week. I planned this day so that I can do a list of things!
Like…
Cleaning
Washing
Reading
A little drawing maybe
More time with God
Arrange the books in my home library
Read some more
Yep. That was my idea of a day off.
But it was short-lived as I realized that I am a grown adult and I have errands to run 🐼
And so I adjusted my to do list
I’ll do these instead!
Sleep
Eat and wash my dishes
Sleep
Cook for kids and feed them
Sleep
Tell kids to turn off the television because I want some peaceful time sleeping
Quinn of Fortune 